i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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