No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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