i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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