DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
