The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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