drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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