My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
