he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Randomize
