Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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