cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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