I CAN MOONWALK!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
