Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
