dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's like iHOP with fire
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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