i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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