listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I need water and some morals
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
