so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
