I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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