I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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