Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
