So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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