i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
