The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
