Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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