haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
