wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
