Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
