you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
