Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
is wine microwaveable?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
