He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
