If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
