I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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