Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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