and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
