How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
