Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm jealous of your bromance
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize