my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
