she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
