So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
