When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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