u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
