Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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