im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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