I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
