North Korea, Best Korea!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
