We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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