I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
accomplished twins. life is a go
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i believe in u and ur pee
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