franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize