I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
