Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
