somebody snuck up and got me drunk
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
