I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
