There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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