last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
try to milk me bitch
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
