I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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