i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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