Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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