he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
