Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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