he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize